In which I opine on politeness
The long leg of my flight from Burlington to Lima (almost 8 hours from JFK to LIM) was decidedly red-eye, leaving just before midnight. I had elected to pay a modest upgrade charge for a little more elbow and leg room to make the night just a little less awful. This was one of those co-branded flights: it was nominally Delta, but it was really a Latam flight. Somehow, though I had a boarding pass that showed the upgrade (in row 12) that I had printed out last August when I made the reservation, Delta then reported last week that I was in row 35.…
I couldn’t fix the problem on-line, or at BTV, or at JFK during the 11-hour layover. Finally, though, as the attendants opened their station at the boarding gate, I made one last attempt. I knew she didn’t have to help me. I knew she didn’t need to care about my “problem.” So I apologized for taking her time and explained the situation as succinctly and politely as I could, even as I could see her shaking her head and looking at the rather full seat plan and at the crowds waiting at the gate.
But then to my utter surprise she said, “You’ve been so nice and patient with this — I see we have an empty window seat in row 11, the very front row in the main cabin, with even a little more legroom. Would you like that?”
Well, I didn’t say no. And as I thanked her, she said, “So many people approach this type of situation with anger or entitlement — it makes you want to not help them. But politeness makes us remember that we’re all in this together, and makes us want to try to find solutions.”
Wow. So Mom was right. You do catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. This never made much sense to me as a kid (I mean, who wants flies in the first place?), but really, even if politeness doesn’t naturally come to us, shouldn’t we try to be polite just out of self-interest? I think the world might be better for it.…